Comfort w/ co-ed training

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    Chad Moechnig
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    Rikki
    Post subject: Comfort w/ co-ed training PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 7:49 am
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    While I think it is of utmost importance for women to train with men, I would like to get opinions on how comfortable you are working out with the guys. I especially want to hear from the ladies who are new to training. Thanks in advance.

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    MNkkgMMA
    Post subject: PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 8:53 am
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    Location: minnesota
    I’ve always been relatively comfortable training with men. They usually ive a very challenging work out. Even if they arent very good technically 9 out of 10 times they are stronger and even on offense you have to roll smart.

    There are a few newer (6 months trainin’) girls who roll with our team now who are either very uncomfortable rolling with men, or are pretty stupid. This one girl, while rollin with my husband, actually stuck her boobs in his face and made a comment about it. ( and she doesnt wear a sports bra under her t-shirt, just a regular one) Now I dont know if the boob thing was diliberate or just a happened while grappling, but why on earth would you draw attention to it, with a cutesy comment? I wasnt there to witness it, but next time I roll/spar with her, she’ll be re-evaluating her reasons for ever having wanted to start training in the first place. I’ll make it very clear that our gym and our mat time is flirty time.

    That girls’ comments and actions made my husband the most uncomfortable he has ever been rollin with a woman. In my experience, (4 years of it now) the guys aren’t the ones who cant take the smile out of grapplin with men. ( all though I have met a few dudes who were pervs, but they generally dont come for more than one or two practices.

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    MNkkgMMA
    Post subject: PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 8:54 am
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    oops- our gym and mat time is NOT flirty time.

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    Mark Grassman
    Post subject: PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 5:00 pm
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    None of the above.

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    Mook
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:02 pm

    Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 9:09 am
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    No matter what you say, physical contact between men and women is inherently smile. You can try to subsume that, but it is always there.

    It is not a good idea at all, unless there is absolutely no alternative.

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    ktnzgtklws
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:06 pm

    Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:48 pm
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    Location: Tucson, AZ
    I find that I’m quite comfortable training with men in stand up striking and clinch type training.
    To be honest, I was a tad uncomfortable *at first*. I’m sorry, but there are still obvious differences between men and women, and practicing groin kicks or moves that can squish “the girls” together did make me a little squemish. I knew, however, that if I wanted to learn to fight, I was going to have to get over this. Getting to know my trainers better, and the sheer practicality of there not being enough skilled women to work with, helped. Of course, investing in a really good sports bra that squished me down so that I thought I was 12 again helped… 😉
    Grappling is still new to me, but I find that I’m actually more comfortable learning it than striking, although this is probably because I have that comfort and trust level with my instructors. I know that with other people, I like to talk about my husband, and get them to talk about thier SO’s, just so that everyone is clear that this is grappling class, not Flirting or Gropping 101.

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    martha905
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 3:10 pm

    Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:08 pm
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    Location: Welland,Ont
    I’ve always trained with guys both grappling and MMA and I have always found it challenging to use technique to defeat muscle. I am fairly new to this having only done it for just over a year aa well as being the oldest woman who trains at our club at 39 and I have never felt uncomfortable or felt like I was doing anything but practising technique. I think the attitude of the majority of the athletes in your club determines the atmosphere and I am blessed to be in one that values hard work and determination regardless of gender.

    Martha905

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    MidgetTwista
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 6:28 pm

    Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 8:37 pm
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    Location: Tampa, FL
    Mook wrote:
    No matter what you say, physical contact between men and women is inherently smile. You can try to subsume that, but it is always there.

    It is not a good idea at all, unless there is absolutely no alternative.

    I completly disagree. It is all depending upon your attitude towards BJJ. When I roll with the guys at my studio (I am the only girl in the entire school), the only thing on my mind is tapping him out and becoming a better bjj artist. I have absolutly 0 smile thoughts in my mind. Physical contact between men and women is only smile if you allow it to be!

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    Lady Luck
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 8:16 pm

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    I totally agree with MidgetTwista. I have worked with a lot of really great guys and have never been even slightly uncomfortable rolling with them. I sometimes feel bad that they have to lower the level of their workout to compensate for my lack of strength but there has never been anything remotely smile about my work with them. It comes down to who you are working with. As a matter of fact, the only uncomfortable moment I have had was when I finally got to roll with another girl and found myself accidentally posting on her chest (which I can do all the time with guys). Oops.

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    Rikki
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 9:00 am
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    I can’t believe that this thread has had so many views and so few votes!

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    ktnzgtklws
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:36 am

    Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:48 pm
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    Location: Tucson, AZ
    [quote=”Rikki”]I can’t believe that this thread has had so many views and so few votes![/quote]

    I think that a lot of people are not sure how they feel… I mean, look at how the votes pan out. Either you’re REALLY comfy with the idea, or you’re really not. A middle ground option wasn’t really provided. I choose “very comfortable”, for example, because I have learned to be comfortable the vast majority of the time, even though there are still moments where I’m not.
    The way I like to look at it is this: yes, there is some inherent smile to male/female contact. BUT. We are supposed to be grown adults who are in charge of our hormones/urges/thouoghts/actions/etc, etc. Therefore, in order to train, we deal with and/or ignore those things to the best of our ability. (Sorry, I still feel somewhat embarased when I accidentaly hit a male partner in the groin. My goal is to NOT hurt them! Of course, my husband says it’s thier fault for not wearing a cup. lol)
    SO, IMHO, when embarassing situations arrive, as are bound to happen REGARDLESS of if it’s male/male, female/female, or male/female (C’mon. Mess up a move and end up with your chest in someone’s face. Stupid silly for a male/male or female/female combo. smile silly and uncomfortable for a male/female combo.), the best thing to do is to NOT crack smile jokes or inuendos, rather, own the mistake as a “Well, that didn’t go according to plan!” and move on.

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    Rikki
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 12:26 pm
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    Quote:
    A middle ground option wasn’t really provided.

    I thought that was what the “I am somewhat uncomfortable” option was. Sorry if I was wrong. I’m just trying to figure out if it would be worth it for me to start a women’s class at my gym. I’ve heard a lot of ladies who don’t train say that they wouldn’t feel comfortable in the co-ed situation. If I were to start such a class I would attempt to feed them into the main class after a period of time.

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    ktnzgtklws
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 8:48 pm

    Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:48 pm
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    Location: Tucson, AZ
    I suppose my issue was that you only provided a negative middle ground. I am more comfortable than uncomfortable, althouh I do have some ingrained reservations that I have to work around. Had you provided a “I am somewhat comfortable” option, I would have picked that.
    If you’re thinking of starting a women’s class, I think you would have a much better retention of students. Most women are simply too self concious around guys. I mean, c’mon, Curves? What a joke, for those of us who actually know how to use weights and work out. Yet they are insanely popular, both for the all woman atmosphere, as well as the embarassment issue is removed; you know exactly what to do, when to do it, and instructions are there on the machine if you have questions. But for many women, a normal gym is too intimidating, in large part due to not wanting to look silly.
    Removing the smile discomfort, at least at first, would most likely help. Also, most women don’t like getting hit. Some dom’t mind. ;;-) Reassuring the women that they won’t have to go full out if they dont’ want to will probably also help retention.

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    Randori
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 2:35 pm

    Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2006 1:47 pm
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    I realize this question was for the women but I thought I’d check in from a male point of view.

    I have been training BJJ / MMA for a touch over two years. In classes I have never had a female be inappropriate on the mat. I have had to grapple a bit differently because I am conscious of hand to breast contact. Other than that it’s fairly normal.

    I should mention I am something like 6-24 against women in class. I have no ego whatever about losing to women. In fact, all it does is further prove that BJJ works.

    Soon I would like to begin teaching beginning self defense for women in my area. How ironic that some of what I will be teaching women will come from my experiences getting my butt handed to me BY women.

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    luvmachine
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 9:29 pm

    Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 11:18 pm
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    I’m a guy who’s not all that comfortable rolling with girls for the same reasons I assume.

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    derUbermensc
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 10:44 pm

    Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:10 pm
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    Randori wrote:

    I have been training BJJ / MMA for a touch over two years. In classes I have never had a female be inappropriate on the mat. I have had to grapple a bit differently because I am conscious of hand to breast contact. Other than that it’s fairly normal.

    Never gone for a lapel or cross choke, huh?

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    Randori
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:41 pm

    Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2006 1:47 pm
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    Not remotely !

    My training partners have said that incidental contact was expected and it was no big deal, not to alter my gameplan, but it threw me a bit.

    A shame too because I have a good submission that involves applying pressure to the sternum while wrapping up the arms. Don’t know if it’s an official move or not, just know my wife hates it.

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