CRITISIZE ME! PLEASE!

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    Chad Moechnig
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    mma
    Post subject: CRITICIZE ME! PLEASE! PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 2:32 am

    Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:14 pm
    Posts: 25
    Location: Los Angeles Area, CALI
    Aight I’m pissed and I don’t really care if ppl jump all over me for dissing women. Infact, maybe i’m trying to start a fight. So i’m just gonna say whatever I want and see who tries to take some swings at me. I honestly don’t care if I even get kicked off this board because I’m so mad at the world right now.

    Hey, I figured out why everyone is so against girls in combat sports. They’re not so much against girls, in fact they don’t care, it’s the “feminen attitude” that they hate. The timid, shy, tactful, careful attitude of a girl is annoying especially if you’re trying to train hard. The “I can be a fighter and wear high heels” attitude annoys the crap out of people. It certainly annoys me. Most girl’s are less aggressive, which is part of the feminen attitude. This lack of aggression pisses people off. Its like why the heck are you even here, just to sit and chat? If you’re going to go for something, give it your all, don’t just be a “girl” about it and be tactful and hold back. It like when girls grapple, they don’t want to hurt the other person. Guys grapple for blood. I hate the fact that girls don’t grapple for blood. Its annoying.

    I mean, girls are vicious… when you get them pissed off. In a schoolyard fight, guys will quit swinging once the VP walks over and say they were “horseplaying” so that they don’t get in trouble. But with girls, you have to have three ppl to stop the fight! Two to grab each girl to pull them apart and one to get between them! And they don’t stop, i’ve seen it, its vicious when girls are pissed. So why the heck don’t you girls take that attitude in the gym with you!? What does it take to get you pissed off so that I when I’m forced to grapple you, I actually get a workout? Maybe this post will do it.

    Since everyone stereotypes me by grouping ALL girls in the same category regardless of how different each of us are, I’m going to do the same thing back to everyone. I don’t care for your lack of sarcasm, or stupid jokes, or flirtatious attitudes or the way you stop a grappling match to fix your multicolored scrunchies. I hate the color pink and I will maul the next person I see wearing a pink gi!!!!

    If you’re going to take away my right to my opinion, then I’m going to take away your right to yours. Try and stop me, I dare you! Everyone go ahead and say other girls can’t fight because of “scientifically proven differences,” but if anyone tries to say that about me, I don’t care who you are or how much “science” you have to back you up, I’ll tear your head off because no one ever did a “scientific study” on me! C’mon and try to call me incapable. Lets see if you’re brave enough cuz most ppl don’t have the balls to back up their dumb ideals.

    I say be brave enough to be irrational, since “rational” girls who listen to reason go nowhere.

    There was a Brown belt judo girl who came to my gym tonite, which was okay I don’t care who comes in to roll, girl, guy, whatever. I belive that someone who wants to be there and wants to do the work deserves your support whether or not you want them there. So sensei pairs me with her. During class, I’m drilling armbars a rep every 3 seconds like you should, when its her turn to drill, she’s doing like a rep ever 15 seconds and talking for 30 seconds! Its like Goddammit hurry up and finish your 10 so that I can drill mine! But nooooo she has to make annoying girlish comments in between each rep. I felt like telling her to just shut up and drill! At the end of class, we all pair up to grapple. I’m being extra on guard because of the belt around her gi. Who cares that she’s a girl, she’s a brown belt! I better be careful right? I can see the smirk on her face like she was going to go easy on me because I’m not a brown belt. We start from her knees and I just go for a bear hug tackle expecting her to try and pull guard or something. She does exactly the oppisite and instead turns her back to me and flattens out! I sink one hook and work for the other. As if I’m not already kicking her ass, she remarks with this smart ass tone “aw c’mon you can turn me with that one hook.” AS IF SHE’S LETTING ME GET IT! I ignore her and sink the other hook and rear naked choke her very quickly. The whole thing lasted about 25 seconds. I tap her two more times and by this time I know she’s not holding back some hidden brown belt secret techniques because sensei is giving her advice. Then sensei stopps us and tells me to stand up with her because stand up is more her forte. I was a little nervous about standing up with a judo brown belt but I knew how to fall so I did as instructed and stood up with her. She was going for throws, but I was bent over like a wrestler and she couldn’t get under me, so I just shot and took her down twice. I did actually try for a throw once, which she actually countered easily. Throwing is not my forte. I got really annoyed when she opted not to continue. AND SHE GOT HERSELF A BROWNBELT!??!?! Heh, maybe I should go down to her school and get myself a brownbelt since I beat her.

    By the time I was finished with her, my other buddies were worn out from grappling each other, so I didn’t get that great of a workout. What a waste of time! Are girls like this judo chick the people we’re fighting to get equal rights for? Its girls like these that keep the military segragated and the UFC closed. Maybe i’m not that great of a fighter that I can take on the world by myself, but at least when I show up to a new gym, I wear a white belt out of respect, drill my heart out and talk AFTER class. Is this girls attitude the kind of attitude that this forum is advocating? Like girls like this should be respected in this sport the same as guys?

    Gimme a break, I’m not gonna support the feminist movement if it means flooding the grappling gyms with girls like these who take up my precious training time. C’mon for crying out loud there’s a thread on this forum titled “training while pregnant!” How much more irrelevant can you get? I’ll bet I sound self-centered. I really don’t care. If any of you on this board are like this, I warn you that you probably shouldn’t talk to me because YOU REALLY PISS ME OFF. Its girls like you that are the reason girls like me are stereotyped. Its girls like you that make it harder for girls like me to get into top notch wrestling clubs. I had trouble making my schools wrestling team because the previous girl on the team literally gave a bj to a guy behind the lockerroom and got the whole team in trouble.

    I’m not afraid to speak my mind. Lets see who comes and starts cussing me out. Maybe if more people spoke up, it would help the sport a little more. Girls like this belong on cheerleading teams, learn how to do high snap kicks on a dance team. But don’t bring your sorry @$$, girlish attitudes into the gym and waste other serious grappler’s precious time that they pay money for!

    JEEZ!

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    tapoutuk
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 3:00 am

    Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:13 am
    Posts: 240
    You get men who train like that though too.

    At one of our gyms there are a group of five girls who basically just stand around and talk all night and stick to themselves and bully the smaller fighters when they spar.

    When they get put in with the more senior girls they won’t throw a punch at them as they know it will be answered.

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    debi
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 7:00 am
    Fightergirls Pro Fight Team

    Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:04 am
    Posts: 533
    Ah Heck,
    I Guess I will speak up. Since I started the forum, love fighting and love being a girlee girl. Shopping is my second favorite hobby, and I wear heels whenever I get the chance.

    Women have been stereo typed in fighting for years. Some View us as prissy, however You might be surprised to find out that most people view female fighters as jockey dyky ugly lesbians. I find that attitude from people a lot more then I do the pink scrunchie type. Either stereo type is unfair. But hey what are you going to do.

    Although I feel your pain about training with women who are not serious. You surely must understand that in the sport of fighting martial arts. There all types of people, men, women, all training for different reasons and on different levels. Trying to let people be people and not let it get to you, can be an art form in itself

    For me I have spent many years training with a man (Marco Ruas , that a lot of professional fighters (men) are afraid to train with, their number one complaint is he goes too hard., and for me it is no different.. IN return iv had 6 knee surgeries, a broken arm, a broken leg, many black eyes, broken nose a few times, and countless other bruises I do not care to share. So I welcome the opportunity to go light. With a guy or a girl.

    ,There are a number of women on this board who would welcome you into their gym to kick your ass, and maybe even some of them wear pink. I know for a fact Tara Larosa happens to love that color hahahehehehahah

    . If your up for hard training with a female, in your area you can stop by Marcos gym, We are in south Orange County, He does not allow any people male or female in his gym that will not give it their all and go 100%.

    Personally I do not really like that attitude, and when I get the chance to spar with women outside of my gym, I Look as it as a great opportunity to improve my game with someone my own size. And strength. The older and wiser I get the more I am seeking that out. And realizing the benefits of training with other women. On all levels. There is always something to learn from everyone,. Even if it is working on your offense. 😉

    I do not mean this response to your thread to sound threatening, I am just letting you know that there are as many serious women fighters out there, as there are the powder puffs who want to train for their own reasons.

    Lastly you will not be thrown off the board for having an opinion. That is why its here.

    I wish you all the best and do hope you stop by to train and frequent this board.

    Debi Purcell

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    Rikki
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 8:12 am
    Instructor

    Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 6:56 am
    Posts: 915
    Location: Lexington, KY
    Quote:
    C’mon for crying out loud there’s a thread on this forum titled “training while pregnant!”

    First of all, that thread is about a woman who is so dedicated to her training that she doesn’t want to stop even though she is pregnant. That sounds completely opposite from what you are complaining about.

    Secondly, you are confusing prissy, whiny, “I don’t want to get my hands dirty” girls with the “I can be a fighter and wear high heels” girls. I certainly don’t consider myself a girlie girl. I can be ready for a night out on the town in 15 minutes (makeup included!). I can change my own flat tire. I like to play tackle football. BUT I LIKE TO LOOK LIKE A WOMAN. Does that mean I don’t train hard? I don’t think so.

    I don’t like to put up with those girls either but you have no right to accuse all of us (especially since you don’t know us) of being that way. I totally agree with Debi and I would be willing to bet that the majority of the women on this board train just as hard as you.

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    dl_angel
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 8:34 am

    Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 6:49 pm
    Posts: 150
    Location: Austin, Texas
    Quote:
    Although I feel your pain about training with women who are not serious.

    This is going to be a problem forever- and there will be men just like it… because MOST trainers need the $$$ that the regular people bring in. My gym has 2 pro fighters, several amateur fighters, and then everyone else PAYS their monthly fee so that my instructor can keep his gym open. I know some gyms are fortunate enough to have just fighters- not sure how they do it. They PROBABLY charge them. But a lot of gyms, the fighters train free.

    If we’re bitching about things I AM FUCKING SICK of the fighters- talking mainly about guys- who come in, take up ALL of an instructor’s time, pay NO money, bitch the FUCK out of everyone at the gym because they’ve gotta lose 15 lbs for a fight and they’re in a bad ass mood, NEVER workout with us regular folk (sometimes they help new people, most of the time they just show up to spar and work bags), and then have the audacity to think that cuz they’re big and bad that they should somehow set the pace of the whole class and that everyone should be like them. If you want people to BE like you and to TRAIN like you, be a good example 1st of all and WORK with those people you don’t like. If you train hard, the other person will train hard. I probably get less of a workout working with some of the girls in my gym who don’t want to fight- which is most of them- but I have few options…. but I can tell you one thing, when it’s my turn to work the pads I dont really hold back… I kick the FUCK out of the pads. I let them set the pace of THEIR training, not of mine. And I have NO DOUBT that those girls workout a LOT harder now than they did before. Just like they workout a lot harder if one of the fighters DOES come work with them. And I do too- they push me harder (and they’re just better)- and when we switch off, I try to do just as well for them.

    That’s not gonna help you for the person who randomly comes in to train, but if you’re having problems training at your gym, it will. People only work as hard as you push them and as hard as you push yourself- people are naturally competitive- especially women against each other.

    And don’t act like a WOMAN when you’re upset about something- I mean I can SEE that this was built up in you from your workout and you come to forum to bitch about it. I can just imagine you sitting there SEETHING about this girl’s talking, rather than just being nice about it and saying “hey i’d love to talk later, but this is my only time to workout and i really take it seriously” and being pissed off is only gonna fuck up your workout more (anger and aggresssion = good, seething with anger = bad). The other possibility is that you snapped at her, yelled at her, etc and she basically went on defensive and got LESS aggressive cuz you were attacking her- that happens. I can GUARANTEE that’s what I would’ve done- and all you would’ve had to do was be nice about it and i would’ve probably been pretty damn excited and honored to work with someone who is as serious and dedicated to the sport as you seem to be.

    Unfortunately the only way to change other people is usually through changing our own behavior.

    On another topic- I hate belt systems, they’re bullshit and never correlate from one gym to another. My tkd instructor told me he could get me my black belt in 1 yr if i wanted to be an instructor for him- I quit. I want to be GOOD at my sport, not just get a stupid fucking belt. You just shouldn’t look at someone’s belt and make any assumptions- always nice to play on the safe side, but you can buy a black belt online for like $10 and lots of dumbasses have black belts and can’t do anything with them.

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    Rosi
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 9:58 am
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:26 am
    Posts: 532
    Rebelling against a stereotype shows no more strength of character than conforming to it. Both are just opposite sides of the same coin. The challenge is to be an individual – to be yourself despite the existence of stereotypes.

    As for training – there are people who train seriously and effectively and there are those who don’t. Either category can be male or female. So what? Are you going to let other people’s actions and attitudes dictate your own?

    Quote:
    C’mon for crying out loud there’s a thread on this forum titled “training while pregnant!” How much more irrelevant can you get?

    Why would that be irrelevant exactly?

    Being a female fighter isn’t about trying to be “like a guy”. Women DO do “female” things, including having babies. And yes, whether you like it or not, it is possible to do “female” things and still be a fighter. If you disagree, then i’d be happy to spar you any time you’re in the uk, just drop me a line. In case this sounds arrogant, i’m not saying that i’d win, but i’m confident you’d at least get a decent workout. 😉

    Quote:
    Maybe i’m not that great of a fighter that I can take on the world by myself, but at least when I show up to a new gym, I wear a white belt out of respect, drill my heart out and talk AFTER class. Is this girls attitude the kind of attitude that this forum is advocating? Like girls like this should be respected in this sport the same as guys?

    Of course. Perhaps you should train with some of the women on here, before making assumptions, no?

    Oh, and i don’t think there is any causal link between a person’s favorite colour or their choice of footwear and their ability to fight. 🙄

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    KhorneliusPraxx
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 5:09 am

    Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2004 10:25 am
    Posts: 364
    Location: Evansville, IN
    So women shouldn’t train in martial arts unless they want to train like they have an upcoming televised fight against Tito Ortiz. Many people, men and women, need a friendly casual atmosphere because it is just a hobby. 99.9% of people who train in various martial arts are not, nor will they ever be, a professional fighter. If every dojo and gymn owner sounded like mma they wouldn’t be able to pay the rent and the popularity of Martial Arts would crash. Personally, I like working with kids and curious first-timer women, helping them learn something new in a friendly atmosphere, hoping that they keep their interest and continue to grow. Barking at them like a drill instructor would just chase them away but I guess that is what mma would want, to eliminate the “dead wood.” 🙁

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    chad
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 9:04 pm
    Fightergirls elite poster

    Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2004 7:16 am
    Posts: 671
    Location: Laguna Hills, CA
    My advice would be to ………… Call out Debi she is only 60 min away and have a smoker with her……. (smoker… put on the gloves and fight not a pro or advertised but real)……. Kick her black belt ass and tell us that we are not worthy of you…. Open your own website and name it no one is better than me. you know what….

    Why should I ban you????? come down here kick ass….. Otherwise respect those that want to train and be a part of MMA

    Chad

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    mma
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 10:36 pm

    Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:14 pm
    Posts: 25
    Location: Los Angeles Area, CALI
    Look, I have absolutely nothing against female martial artist, for christ sakes I am one.

    The thing is that this girl had a brown belt in Judo. A brown belt. That should pretty much= serious chiit. Her skill did not represent brown belt at all. Nor did her attitude. I’ve never been to an official judo school, so I don’t know if they rank differently, but I was really ready to get my butt handed to me, and the fact that the oppisite happened made me feel like girls who are bad at martial arts and hold high ranks are the norm, and girls who are actually good at what they do are “the weird ones.” The thing is that I honestly don’t think I’m that good, but I’m strong and I’m bigger than most women (6’0” 170lbs), and when pathetic me goes and tapps a brown belt in judo, it makes me feel like all women suck, and I am a woman. It makes me feel like I am wrong and that size and strength really do make technique irrelevant. I dunno, I guess I just kinda went in anticipating someone who was really good, and got my hopes dashed. If she had actually been a white belt, I don’t think I would have been as annoyed because I would have expected her to act the way she did. But I guess I was kinda disappointed because I thought I was getting the chance to grapple someone who really knew how to hurt me, and ended up falling short. You know how like when you’re a kid and you get a new toy and its not as cool for real as it is on TV?

    As for debi, I’m not worthy of grappling her. I have so much respect for female martial artists that make the sport look good. You’re right, I have no respect for the casual martial artist who makes full contact fighting look like recreational soccer. I’m young and firey, what do you expect? My bad if I sound like I think I’m the baddest fighter on the planet, I just have a bad attitude. There’s also cultural pressures in my case. I’m strait-up American, but my family is from Albania, where women still pretty much don’t have the right to vote. I hear in some form or another “you are incapable” at least twice a day, so forgive me if I’m a little more on edge that most ppl. (or alot on edge).

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    Rosi
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 1:16 am
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 11:26 am
    Posts: 532
    Quote:
    The thing is that this girl had a brown belt in Judo. A brown belt. That should pretty much= serious chiit. Her skill did not represent brown belt at all. Nor did her attitude. I’ve never been to an official judo school, so I don’t know if they rank differently

    Judo DO rank differently. A judo brown is probably a comparable skill level to a mid range bjj blue (or thereabouts).

    More to the point, judo is not mma, it is a totally different game.

    If you’d beaten her at judo in a judo contest with full judo rules, that would be different. Although why a judo player would wear their judo brown belt to a non judo class i don’t know. 🙄

    Oh, and size and strength DO make a difference. You need a significant skill advantage to overcome a moderate size and strength advantage.

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    debi
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 4:08 am
    Fightergirls Pro Fight Team

    Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:04 am
    Posts: 533
    Geez chad easy boy.

    mma, Thank you for coming back to post. Actually I have been thinking about it quite a bit. I can understand how it if infuriates you, when someone else does not take your sport as serious as you , or worse yet, makes a mockery of it.

    I mainly made my post because I feel very protective over the women that post here. I have met and talked with so many talented women fighters from this board and in the sport. You would be at surprised at how hard these women actually train.

    I honestly believe that talent or toughness has little to do with how feminine a woman comes across. I have met girls who are very manly looking and not very skilled or tough, and girls who are very effeminate with mad skills and very tough. . Also vise versa.

    I have had fellow female fighters say IM girlee and had men say IM manly lol. (shrug) there is just no winning for us is there ?

    I honestly believe for women to get the respect we deserve, we just have to put the training time in, and up our skill level. no matter what we happen to look like.

    For years women have been judged on their looks in sports. Its unfair but a fact. The key is to break the stigmata and just prove that we are talented regardless.

    You fieriness will take you far, it’s a huge attribute in this sport. As far as not being worthy to grapple with me. I hope your being sarcastic, because that is ridiculous.

    Now IM off to Vegas folks 😈

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    mma
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:16 am

    Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:14 pm
    Posts: 25
    Location: Los Angeles Area, CALI
    debi wrote:

    As far as not being worthy to grapple with me. I hope your being sarcastic, because that is ridiculous.

    Sorry, I was trying to emphasize the fact that I do have a phenomenal amount of respect for women who can actually kick my ass. And to be completely 100% honest, what I would really like to meet is more women who would hand my ass to me on a regular basis. I know there are alot of them out there, but when all you see is girls getting beat, it does a number on your self esteem. It makes you feel that much more alone. I know I come off like I hate the world, and sometimes I really do, I’ll admitt it.

    Kyra gracie and Marcelo Garcia are approximately the same weight (or a weight apart whatever). Both are abu dhabi champions. I really want to believe that Kyra could hold her own against Marcelo and make the two championships hold the same bearing, but I’m really stuggling with it.

    Last night I went to an albanian party (bunch of albanians get together and eat lots of roasted lamb outside. Yay food!) and ended up getting into a political conversation with a 20 year old prissy ex-cheerleader and a 16 year old christian fundamentalist, both of whom believed that “women should just stay at home because we should all stick to our places in life.” I’m dead serious they said that! When I challenged their opinion, the girl got in my face like “do you have a job? Do you contribute to the economy in anyway? Then you don’t affect the world so your opinion doesn’t matter.” (I’m currently unemployed) I barked back at her “hi, do you vote? you don’t?! Then you don’t affect the world either so your opinion doesn’t matter, and no one wants to hear it so shutup.” I dunno, everyday I look around and ask the question “are we really still that behind?” I just sorta thought that the 50’s went out in, well, the 50’s.

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    Erin T
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:34 am
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 1:36 pm
    Posts: 292
    Location: Orange County USA
    LOL Chad!

    Debi you KNOW Chad is your biggest fan. (besides me of course)

    MMA – I see you’re in CA – I am in Texas right now and I have been doing a bit of training with a woman named Kathy Brothers. You ever heard of her? She’s a BB from Machado;about 5’7 170 lbs. I am a purple belt and it was awesome to get a chance to train w/ someone of that caliber.

    I agree that the “average girl” will never be that good and they might not have the ability to ever reach that level. But that is why everyone does not fight or train. If it was easy – everyone would do it. The same can apply for men, just like someone said.

    If you are serious about training and you want someone YOUR size to train with. I’ll be more than happy to take you up on that offer. I assure you that Kathy and myself don’t train like “girls”.

    Your a girl, right? Well please drop me a line and we can meet up to train.

    Talk soon

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    warrior14
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 6:45 pm
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2004 2:08 pm
    Posts: 94
    Location: Sioux Falls, SD
    The whole thing is, Judo is a different sport than Jiu Jitsu. Comparing the 2 is like saying, “He’s been a pro football player for years, why can’t he hit a baseball?” Of COURSE you can tap out a Judo player. Compared to Jiu Jitsu, Judo has practically ZERO ground control. But, stand up and try HER sport the way SHE does it, she would probably show you why she has a brown in JUDO (notice, NOT Jiu Jitsu……).

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    greatlaughter
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:20 pm
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2004 4:15 pm
    Posts: 259
    Location: Petaluma, CA
    MMA, you’re reminding me of a black person who is for ‘white power’. I don’t really get why you came on to a primarily female populated forum to bash on females who train. We all have issues finding stellar training partners. My thoughts, go whine to someone who cares. I’m proud of all of you who sucked it up and took a couple of deep breaths before you posted. I didn’t.

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    greatlaughter
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:31 pm
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2004 4:15 pm
    Posts: 259
    Location: Petaluma, CA
    OK,OK…So, here’s the deal. Seems like you might be confusing ALL WOMEN’S worth with your struggle for worth in a male dominated culture and sport. But, fuck that, get over it. What you do, say, act like, dress, etc represents a woman. Don’t be ashamed to be a woman because some other girl sucks at fighting. That’s HER issue.
    But that’s more psychoanalytical babble than I needed to get into tonight. Debi, as you can see, I need to read ‘the book’ more. All wound up. Headache, attacking strangers on the internet…AND to make it worse, someone really did try to beat me up with some Karate stuff tonight at a new ‘MMA’ school I tried out for my daugher.
    No disrespect…no disrespect…

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    mma
    Post subject: PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:09 am

    Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:14 pm
    Posts: 25
    Location: Los Angeles Area, CALI
    greatlaughter wrote:
    MMA, you’re reminding me of a black person who is for ‘white power’. I don’t really get why you came on to a primarily female populated forum to bash on females who train. We all have issues finding stellar training partners. My thoughts, go whine to someone who cares. I’m proud of all of you who sucked it up and took a couple of deep breaths before you posted. I didn’t.

    THANKYOU! That’s exactly the kind of response I wanted. Now take that attitude to the gym with you! Go train right now, if you notice any improvements, post back. I came on this board because I’m a female and It’d be nice to find other females like me.

    Erin T, thanx alot. just to give you the heads up I’m not even remotely close to your experience level, so you’d probably run right through me. I’m not a white belt, but the belt ranking system at my school is different since its primarily a cjj (classic jiujitsu) school but also teaches bjj and judo. Purple belt at my school is junior brown belt, so I don’t know what i’d be in bjj. I’m guessing I’d probably be somewhere around blue belt, so if you still wanna roll sometime, I’d concider it an honor.

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    anna
    Post subject: PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 6:41 am

    Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:16 am
    Posts: 16
    Hey mma,

    Might be worth separating a couple of the points you made. I think everyone will agree with you that the type of women you described, those that don’t train hard and are happy to just gossip and play with their hair, are annoying. But, and i may just have misinterpreted what you said, it sounds like you’re saying that every time you roll with some one you want them to come at you, like you do to them, with everything they have, ie/ lots of aggression and constantly looking for a submission.

    I can see where you’re coming from with that as i also trained at a gym (when i just started out) with that very same attitude, everyone was really competitive. I only realised that it was actrually detrimental to improving my ground game when i rolled with a friend from a different gym. She has very very little agression, no pent up anger at all and completely schooled me. Even now, we are at a similar skill level, she is slightly lighter than me, I’m a bit stronger and still can’t help being a bit “raah” when grappling, and I’m still finding her to be the most challenging person to roll with. By being aggressive all the time you’ll be opening yourself up to making more mistakes which some one who is more chilled out will move on. Also if you never chill out and have slow rolls you won’t be able to pick up on the subtle things you’re doing wrong.

    More importantly though it’s just too embarassing getting dominated by some one who isn’t even breaking in to a sweat 😉

    Hope some of that made sense!

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    greatlaughter
    Post subject: PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 8:18 am
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2004 4:15 pm
    Posts: 259
    Location: Petaluma, CA
    I am honestly not being smile here, but if I trained angry only 2 things would happen:
    People would get hurt (myself included for making dumb mistakes)
    And I’d get winded.

    You can’t train/fight well emotionally. If you have to dig deep to get out of a tough spot – GREAT! But it’s no place to stay.

    It pisses me off when people get emotional during training.

    It’s not a fight, it’s not personal, it’s just training. You go. You train. You go home.

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    KhorneliusPraxx
    Post subject: PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 8:53 am

    Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2004 10:25 am
    Posts: 364
    Location: Evansville, IN
    I only get emotional when training when I seriously disappoint myself. 🙁
    Sure I am angry, but I am angry at myself. 😡
    I would never take it out on someone else. 😈
    I have left upset a couple of times, but at myself. 👿
    I never go to class upset, I’m always glad to be there. 🙂

    Too bad others in my family don’t feel the same way. 😕

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    scarce
    Post subject: PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 11:28 am
    Fightergirls elite poster

    Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:31 pm
    Posts: 791
    …tara larosa fights november 5th……

    ..for all that didnt know……….

    …now i got to go back to my smile black girl ida…

    she treat me real good………..(i am whooped)))))))))))lol……ha ha…

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    Rox21
    Post subject: PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 1:26 pm
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 6:49 pm
    Posts: 1334
    Location: Kanagawa/Japan
    what rikki said.

    There’s many different kinds.

    Everyone has good points, though. I Never liked training with “girls” because everyone who came into my gym just didn’t give me the level of training I wanted. Now THESE women who I train with in Japan at Wajitsu Keishukai…all’ve fought over 4 times in smack girl and cross section and whatnot. 🙂 They WILL kick your buttocks.

    Image

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    Executioner
    Post subject: PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:31 pm

    Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 1:48 pm
    Posts: 444
    Location: Netherlands
    MMA, why not issuing some challenges to some girls here to duck it out?
    Would be great! 8)

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    coslisa
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 2:35 pm
    Pro Fighter

    Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 6:39 am
    Posts: 131
    Location: North East England
    I know where you are coming from, there are girls that come to my gym and they won’t do grappling they only do kickboxing, they talk too much and complain if you kick them (even at quarter power), they don’t do the warm-ups properly because they don’t want to sweat because it’ll just ruin their hair, and I sometimes get pis#ed off because I get paired with them (because we are both female rather than because we are of equal skill level) instead of someone who is going to challenge and improve my game.

    However I also realise that I can teach these girls some of what I’ve learned and bring their game on a little bit so that they DO start to challenge you and can give you a good sparring session. (I have only been training for 18 months and have so much to learn myself), do people get pis#ed off because they’ve been training three years and I don’t challenge them when we spar? or have they helped me and given their time to improve my skills.

    If someone is getting on your nerves, I agree with someone who said tell them in a polite way to shut up and train because that’s what we do at a gym, the whole reason for being there. Something else to keep in mind is that some people talk too much when they get nervous, maybe you were intimidating this girl a little bit?

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    luvmachine
    Post subject: PostPosted: Sun Sep 04, 2005 12:06 am

    Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 11:18 pm
    Posts: 76
    does it make me weird that none of these issues ever pop in to my head and i can’t relate to this argument at all?

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    ciscodog
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:03 am

    Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:55 am
    Posts: 26
    The color of there belt does not mean anything as far as their ability in the ring. That goes for both men and women. Some people are naturals, others not so much. I have more respect for someone who isnt a gifted athlete, yet they train day after day, often losing their smokers, and still come back to train some more. Those are the work out partners that you can keep for life, and the students that keep gyms and dojo’s open. Do i look forward to sparring someone I know I can beat…….no. But I also have a responsibilty to help that person achieve and learn something other than how to get hit hard. Thats what you do for your dojo family. Whether I win mine or lose i will always thank my opponent because we both still learn something.

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    Rikki
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:40 pm
    Instructor

    Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 6:56 am
    Posts: 915
    Location: Lexington, KY
    ciscodog wrote:
    The color of there belt does not mean anything as far as their ability in the ring. That goes for both men and women. Some people are naturals, others not so much. I have more respect for someone who isnt a gifted athlete, yet they train day after day, often losing their smokers, and still come back to train some more. Those are the work out partners that you can keep for life, and the students that keep gyms and dojo’s open. Do i look forward to sparring someone I know I can beat…….no. But I also have a responsibilty to help that person achieve and learn something other than how to get hit hard. Thats what you do for your dojo family. Whether I win mine or lose i will always thank my opponent because we both still learn something.

    There’s a lot of wisdom in that post.

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    ciscodog
    Post subject: PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 1:20 pm

    Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:55 am
    Posts: 26
    ty rikki, I appreciate that very much……… you made my day:D 😀

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    Irish_fight
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 5:29 am

    Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:52 am
    Posts: 14
    MMA-
    I think the question is WHY do you get angry at females that don’t act the same as you?
    You sound like a person with very strong ideas about how women in Martial Arts should act. That’s not a very open mindset, and the negative feelings you harbor will only drain you.
    Anger is useless during training. It is one more thing that will interfere with your breath control and the adrenaline spike is actually counterproductive to tactical methods.
    If you are angry because someone talks during practice, take responsiblity for it and say ‘Can we keep the conversation level down, it breaks my concentration.”
    It sounds like you mistake being feminine for being weak. As for being angry at the Albanian barbecue, as far as the cheerleader, being a housewife is THEIR choice. I support your right to growl and mimic male posturing, and I support Cheerleadergirl’s right to flounce and simper and be cutesy.

    You also said that you respect women that can “kick your ass.” I hope that is not your only qualification. There are many gentle, elderly, disabled, and ostracized females in this world (many of them wear dresses and high heels and have double D’s) that are worthy of your respect and gratitude.

    Your mother, for one.

    Best Regards, Cathy

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    KhorneliusPraxx
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 5:31 am

    Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2004 10:25 am
    Posts: 364
    Location: Evansville, IN
    ciscodog wrote:
    Some people are naturals, others not so much. I have more respect for someone who isnt a gifted athlete, yet they train day after day, often losing their smokers, and still come back to train some more.

    I understand this completely.
    Someone in my BJJ class just flew to Torrance for the 4th AMERICAN NATIONAL JIU-JITSU CHAMPIONSHIP. He is in class once a week. He is a natural, a phenom.
    I am currently scheduled for classes 6 days a week. I absolutely BLOW! But that is only compared to other MAist. Compared to myself, I get better every day.

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    Irish_fight
    Post subject: Re: CRITISIZE ME! PLEASE!PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 5:52 am

    Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:52 am
    Posts: 14
    mma wrote:
    C’mon for crying out loud there’s a thread on this forum titled “training while pregnant!” How much more irrelevant can you get?

    it’s not irrelevant. Pregnancy throws a hell of a monkey wrench on your training. I have a 9 month old baby girl and let me tell you you have to be CAREFUL with stretches after the 6th month. You can cause permanent nerve damage to your sacroiliac/sciatic nerve. Not to mention the safety of the fetus.

    mma wrote:
    Its girls like you that are the reason girls like me are stereotyped.

    Think a little harder about that statement. See if you can understand where I can see hypocrisy.

    mma wrote:
    Its girls like you that make it harder for girls like me to get into top notch wrestling clubs.

    If you were that good, they’d take you.

    [quote=”mma]I had trouble making my schools wrestling team because the previous girl on the team literally gave a bj to a guy behind the lockerroom and got the whole team in trouble. [/quote]

    If she was giving t BJ’s they’d be fighting to get her, and you, ON the team.

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    Rikki
    Post subject: PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 11:18 am
    Instructor

    Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 6:56 am
    Posts: 915
    Location: Lexington, KY
    Quote:
    Compared to myself, I get better every day.

    This is how it’s supposed to be, in my opinion. That’s what we tell our prospective students when they ask about ranking; it’s not about what color belt you can get – it’s about being better than you were the day before.

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    tinaXXX
    Post subject: What stereotype?PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 5:47 am

    Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:16 am
    Posts: 24
    Location: Treasure Coast
    Quote:
    Since everyone stereotypes me by grouping ALL girls in the same category regardless of how different each of us are, I’m going to do the same thing back to everyone. I don’t care for your lack of sarcasm, or stupid jokes, or flirtatious attitudes or the way you stop a grappling match to fix your multicolored scrunchies. I hate the color pink and I will maul the next person I see wearing a pink gi!!!!

    😈 OOPS, I didn’t know I was a stereotype. I am the world’s biggest joker, kidder, flirting smart-aleck on the planet. I used to be the only woman in my classes. Nowadays more girls are joining, and I say more power to ’em. I hate the way guys stop a fight to fix their belt, or knee pads, or jock straps. See… just kidding. Actually, there is this one guy I know who (has an expensive haircut?) spars in a hair net and has to keep fixing it. It’s just weird to see a man so fastidious about his hairstyle. Scrunchies don’t belong on the mat – they just don’t hold well at all. Some girls (and guys) just need a little education on proper fight etiquette. Or, is there one?

    My favorite color is purple, but my motorcycle helmet is BRIGHT PINK. Partly cuz I wanna announce my superior femaleness, and partly to avoid being hit by careless drivers.

    If other people think I’m prissy looking or acting, or think I’m too soft or delicate… well you should NEVER judge a book by its cover. All I care about is maintaining my feminine persona and choking as many dudes (or chicks) as possible. (tee-hee-ha-ha) I meant increasing my skills.

    The biggest problem I have in my gym is that some guys will not really fight me. They “let” me beat them because they are scared that if they put in some real effort and get beat by some sissy girl (with better technique) , then they are sissies too. But I can’t stereotype the guys who train in general because most of them respect me as a training partner and get tapped the right way. Or maybe they’re good fakers.

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    Ellitanthalas
    Post subject: Re: CRITISIZE ME! PLEASE!PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:38 am

    Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 1:45 am
    Posts: 7
    Location: Reading, England
    Criticise you?
    Okay, but I haven’t slept for 40 hours!!

    >So i’m just gonna say whatever I want and see who tries to take some >swings at me.
    Bad move. NEVER be the one to start a fight. If you have THAT much of a gripe with someone that you have to resort to physical attacks – sneak up, stab them in the back or slit their throat, get them out of the way asap and get on with your life.

    >Hey, I figured out why everyone is so against girls in combat sports. >They’re not so much against girls, in fact they don’t care, it’s >the “feminen attitude” that they hate.
    I agree, but then I also hate the masculine. Showing off, trying to prove something… you know all the stereotypes.
    Where I train gender is not really an issue at all. My primary concern is not whether s/he is wearing high heels.. it could be a bloke in crotchless panties for all I care. All I am worried about is that SOMETHING is wielding WEAPONS, be it sword, staff or fist and is trying to hurt/maim/kill me with them. There is a THREAT – deal with it.

    >The “I can be a fighter and wear high heels” attitude annoys the crap >out of people.
    I’ve seen it done, actually 😀 But see remark about THREATS. BTW, high heels count as weapons!!

    >Most girl’s are less aggressive, which is part of the feminen attitude.
    As a standard operating level, yes, but I’ve never known a girl who cannot lay it on heavy when the situation calls for it. They also seem to be adept at finding the perfect target points.

    True, there is an image of what a woman ‘should be’, dictated by mainstream media and society in general, but this is true of blokes also. I don’t fit many of the male stereotypes of a bloke and am ostracised by normal society for it.

    However, I have a dick and thus am male. That’s all there is to it. Anything else is part of the combination that makes me an individual. Same for women – they have that aggression hidden away and it’s up to them to cast off what society thinks they should be and start being what they want. A friend of mine always wanted to be a mechanic, like her father and elder brother but ended up being a nurse because that’s what she thought she had to do as a woman. Whilst she is a fantastic nurse, I still wonder how she’d look in a pair of greasy overalls…
    Be who and what you want to be, not what society says you should.

    >This lack of aggression pisses people off.
    Encourage them. Make a new friend at the same time.

    >Guys grapple for blood. I hate the fact that girls don’t grapple for blood.
    Come meet *my* partner in crime. She’s dislocated my hip twice in as many minutes before.

    >I mean, girls are vicious… when you get them pissed off.
    Perhaps they don’t NEED to be vicious all the time. Having said that, they usually have a very sharp tongue!!

    >Maybe this post will do it.
    Nahh…. 😀

    >Everyone go ahead and say other girls can’t fight because >of “scientifically proven differences,”
    It’s true – they can’t. They have to forget the fact that they are girls and become fighters. They must switch on that internal whirlwind of extreme focussed intent and channel it through the weapon and into the intented target.

    >C’mon and try to call me incapable.
    Already you have defeated yourself, Grasshopper. You let emotions control you, not other way around. Control the storm within you and unleash it when it will save your life.

    >Lets see if you’re brave enough cuz most ppl don’t have the balls to >back up their dumb ideals.
    I’m not brave… just stupid 😀
    I’ll give most things a go.
    Anyway, this is not an ideal, just my opinion, altered by 40 hours without sleep.

    >I say be brave enough to be irrational, since “rational” girls who listen to >reason go nowhere.
    There is not a single human who is rational. The very nature of humanity is irrational. I had this explained to me by one of the councillors who works in our office once. I can’t reiterate it, but I do know he was right. Realising this made dealing with other people and my expectations of them so much easier!!

    >There was a Brown belt judo girl who came to my gym tonite,
    That’s nice. During sparring, I once kicked a Black Belt Tae Kwon Do guy in the solar plexus after only my 3rd lesson. Belts mean nothing, it is the heart that counts. Similarly, it’s usually the newbies who land the most devastating hits on me because I’m simply not expecting what they throw at me.

    Having a higher grade often raises people’s expectations of themselves and makes them complacent. As a Brown Belt she probably thinks she’s better than you. The fact that sensei is advising obviously means she has forgotten the rule about threats (see above). Perhaps she was having a bad night or was ill. Maybe her own sensei is a div who ignored her or something. So long as YOU gave it YOUR absolute best, it does not matter.

    >By the time I was finished with her, my other buddies were worn out >from grappling each other, so I didn’t get that great of a workout.
    Can you meet up privately with your buddies to practice one evening, or something?

    >Are girls like this judo chick the people we’re fighting to get equal rights >for?
    Yep. The others already seem to have gotten their own way or are decking the ignorant into submission 😀

    >but at least when I show up to a new gym, I wear a white belt out of >respect, drill my heart out and talk AFTER class.
    You lead by example. This is good. Take pride in this and try to ignore the twats out there, eh?

    >Is this girls attitude the kind of attitude that this forum is advocating?
    FCUK, I hope not!!

    >I’m not gonna support the feminist movement if it means flooding the >grappling gyms with girls like these who take up my precious training >time.
    Let them waste their money. Hang with the decent crowd. And do not support the feminist movement or any such crap like that. Women are powerful enough without having to form support groups and the like. Just stop letting blokes get away with being wankers so much.

    >C’mon for crying out loud there’s a thread on this forum titled “training >while pregnant!” How much more irrelevant can you get?
    For me… not much. For women – very. I don’t know anything about pregnancy, really – being a single bloke and all, but if there’s a way to train whilst pregnant, feel free. Get the nipper used to the idea and start him/her early, eh!!

    >I’ll bet I sound self-centered.
    Most of us are. The one person we are always with, 24/7 is ourselves. To us, we are the most important person around. Deal with it. Just don’t be selfish.

    >Its girls like you that are the reason girls like me are stereotyped.
    Come on… there is something very adorable about a cutesy little girly beating the living fuck out of a guy thrice her weight. I get the same thing with ‘petite’ women driving big trucks… I am in awe!!

    >I’m not afraid to speak my mind.
    Really??!! Never have guessed……… 🙂

    >Lets see who comes and starts cussing me out.
    I don’t wanna cuss you out… I just want you to laugh a little, get over it and find some people that you can be happy training with.

    I have a bloke down my way who never seems to pay attention when you’re training against him. I just put up with it, verbally shift him when he’s impeding me and let him get on with it. I know he has some issues that he’s dealing with and I know I can’t help, so I just do what I can, give it my all and hope for another partner next time.

    It’s cool,
    W.

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    Executioner
    Post subject: PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:25 am

    Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 1:48 pm
    Posts: 444
    Location: Netherlands
    Where is “MMA”?? ❓

    I miss her a lot!!

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